Who Knew Cake Cutting WOuld Be This Sexy
by orenjiti
Summary: <html><head></head>Who Knew Cake Cutting Would Be This SexY.. got dam... this story features the tantalizing prince, Marth and the sultry princess Peach ..what ghappens when they both try to cut cake together...find out and see.. dont forget to comment rate and suscribe</html>
1. Chapter 1

It was an important day. Princess Peach stood before a large chocolate cake- the largest choclatest cake you can imagine- with her brows furrowed. Her chin rested in the palm of her hand as she stood in contemplation.

"Diddly darn it how do I cut this!"

JUST THEN a beautiful prince with blue hair walked in. "It me gf," he goes.

"Hey Marth, sweetie, I don't know how to cut this cake."

"Who's the cake for?" He responds, majestically brushing the hair from his eyes with his hand.

Before she could respond, he shoots her an intense stare. His focus was so piercing, she stood as solid as ice.

"Y-yes? What is it, Marth?"

"You are so beautiful," he goes, gazing harder at his reflection.

"AwwwwW̼̜̰͓̫W̤͙̼̝W͖̱͈W͇R̯̮͎̫͕̝R͔͍̘̰R̤̻̠̗̜̀R̪͕͈͓Ą͙̲̬̫̭A͕͙̣͍̞̳͡A̲̫̪͚̙̞̻A̳͍͘A̡̱̖͓A̝̲̳̪̱͉̬A̷̻͓̟͖A͔̱̥̳̯̗H̪H͏͈̤͎̭̖̫̬H̟͓̜̲͎H̖̰̬͘ͅH̭̮̙H̭̻̖H̵̙̫̖̫ that's SO SWEET,"

After she was done making inhuman noises, Marth literally just got so turned on but he can't fuck himself so he decided to make a move on his gf.

"Hey I have the best….cake-cutting skills…. in town…"

"Really? Great! Then can you please show me how?"

He moved up REAL CLOSE right behind her and handed her the cake-cutting device which was far from complex but w/e. "Okay little lady I'm going to demonstrate this right quick," he says as he sets his hand on top of hers. He guides her hand to perform cake-cutting motions.

"Shit," she says in awe. "damm that's effective rofl."

"Yeah, see, it's easy," he mutters with his hot breath ghosting across her neck. He couldn't shake the image of his sexy being from his mind.

He can't take it anymore so he spins her around and embraces her.

Mmmk so they start making out and stuff, dueling for **DOMINATION** and **DESTRUCTION** with their tongues. Saliva is slipping out their mouth but who cares.

xxx

"Ouch what the heck," Peach gasped. Something….SOMETHING WASPOKING HER THIGH!?

"u'r hard," she goes….

"Yeah," he says Rather unapologetically but w/e.

She pushed him off of her. "Jerk…"

_Damn it does this mean I can't get laid while thinking of myself how much longer do I have to wait, _Marth cursed internally.

Peach stood there pouting, on the verge of tears.

"Why do you look like you're going to cr-"

He was interrupted by her ripping his dick off. "WHAT THE SHIT PEACH!"

"STOP BEING HORNEY ALL THE TIME!"

He fell to the floor almost in utter defeat….in a pool of his own blood….."

_**To be cont.**_


	2. Chapter 2

Peach chuckled darkly as she sliced the cake with Marth's now severed penis. It smoothly cut into the cakes surface we ease. The penis was still rock solid.

"Finally.." Peach muttered as she carefully brought the cake (coated in the blood of Marth's mayonaise wand) to her mouth.

"MOM!" Link came into the kitchen at fast speed,"What was all that screaming?"

"Hey, Link sweetie, hm? Want some cake?"

Link scratched his neckbeard and adjusted his cum stained shirt with a RAGE FACE,"I DON'T LIKE CAKE, GOD!" he saw Marth laying on the floor, ded.

"Mom, did you murder someone again? ITS 7 IN THE MORNING"

"Wheres your little brother? Go call him for me sweetie, hm?"

"MOM JUST FUCK OF" He stormed off to go jack his baloney pony to Zero suit samus porn on the internet.

A few minutes later, Toon Link walked into the kitchen and walked over to his mother. "Mom, Link is masturbating HES SO RANDOM XD LOLZ IS THAT CAKE?"

"Yes Toony, sweetie. Here.. FEAST."

Toon Link made a troll face and took a bite of the cake. He looked at Marth, who was in a pool of his own blood. He sat out his cake like the cereal guy meme "Oh noes..is he dead xD.."

"Yes, sweeite he was just too horney so I took care of it"

Toon Link waved his hands "Whoa ..WE GOT A BAD ASS OVER HERE..

Marth then started coughing and twitching. Both looked at him for a moment when he started gasping..really dramatically, "God, im so fucking sexy when im bleedig to death.. if only I could just fuck myself." He touched his chisled body "...mm..o Ye... ME GUSTA.." He moaned out.

He suddenly felt a deep urge to rip his clothes off. He would not give up u til he could get his dick into his own ass. "THIS IS AMAZING...I FEEL INCREDIBLE! YES! YES! YES! YES! I CAN WIN I FE GREAT I CAN DO THIS YEAAAH " He rose to his feel..dickless but was so aroused by his reflection.

"RAAAAAAAAAAUAUAUAHAHHHHAGHAHAHHAUGHH" He shed his useless testicles and grew a new magnificent meaty rod and balls, "... YES.. IM HOME IM ALIVE THIS IS A MIRACLE..IM AWAKE IM WIDE AWAKE!"

Peach screamed as her house began to shake like an earthquake. Link was still upstairs in his room cumming a volcano on his computer screen, not caring

Toon Link quickly grabbed the severed cock that once was Marths'. "TIME TO LE"

Marth snorted. "RELEASE MY ONE EYED YOGURT SLINGER U LIL SHIT I WONT LET U GET IN THE WAY OF MAKING SWEET LOVE 2 MYSELF.."

"LMAO.. I MAY NOT BE 5'7 BUT I GOT ME A BIG STICK!" Toon link said with PRIDE AS HE JUMPED UP N STABBED MARTH IN THE HEAD...

Marth head started to squirt out blood and Toon Link began twerking VIOLENTLY.. IM A BOSS ASS BITCH PLAYS IN THE BG HE JUST HAS AN ASS THAT WONT QUIT

**to be cont..**


	3. Chapter 3

As little Toon Link twerked his little heart away, a very distraught Marth gruntled and screamed angrily. His own severed dingloid now lodged into his cranium. "THAT LIL SHITBABY MISTOOK HIS SWORD FOR MY CUM GUN!" All while flipping his magnificent blue hair FRUSTRATIDLY.

Peach tilted her head slightly. "Aw, poor lil Marthy!" she laughed a little and sighed, pulling out a lively stitch-faced turnip from The Void. "This'll make you feel AAAAAAAAAALLLLL BETTER!" The chipper princess slithered her way over to Marth-turnip in hand.

"YOU GET THE PISS AWAY FROM ME WITH THAT THING YOU FKIN FUNGUS LADY" He pulled his mighty flesh tower from the wound in his head and held it up at Peach.

Toon Link continued to twerk, seemingly oblivious to everything around him—probably because of his Beats by Dr. Dre headphones that he was suddenly wearing. At this point, he was simply lost to the rhythm of his Sick Moves.

"Silly Marth!" Peach laughed. "You've got a lil boo-boo! You gotta let me patch it up for the lil prince!" Marth figured he was as good as doomed. He looked at the veiny instrument in his hand, "I better do this before I lose my chance!" The man was determined to fuck himself and by god HE WAS GONNA DO IT!

{INTERMISSION}

Meanwhile… somewhere not far away, Lucas was feeling that feely feel.

{END INTERMISSION}

Peach could not believe what she had just seen. Had Marth really just fucked himself to death with his own severed tallywhacker? Wait—this was Marth of course he did. Moving on.

Toon Link's batteries finally died and his Groove was broken. "Hm?" He looked around and blinked. Marth was lying on the floor once again in a pool of his own blood-his pants down and his big Tipper sticking out from behind.

"Wow…. Such Penis… Much Fucked!" He memed loudly.

"GAWD WOULD Y'ALL JUST SHUDDUP IM TRYIN TA FOCUS ON A TIDDIE" An angry Link shouted from upstairs. "Y U NO MAKE ME" Toon Link memed even louder than before. "Y'ALL DON'T MAKE ME COME DOWN THER YA HEAR?!" The older Link was getting increasingly impatient. Why couldn't they just let him be? Why did they have to distract him from the wonderful bounteous tiddies that the internet had to offer?

"NOOOOOOOO!" Peach and the seemingly dead Marth shouted in unison. They knew what was about to happen."

"U MAD BROOOOO" Toon Link shouted. He was so proud of himself. He memed so hard today. He was undoubtedly the Meme Supreme.

"THAYTS IT, PARTNER" Link opened his bedroom door, and with it, the seal was broken.

Gallons and gallons of Link's own semen came rushing downstairs. There was no escaping it. The terrifying waterfall of cum thrashed through the house. In the torrential downpour, everyone was swept away outside as the entire house collapsed in the chaos.

"Oh my! I think it even took down the neighbor's house!" Peach said, trying to wipe the DISGUSTING MESS off her dress.

"RRUUUUAAAAAGGAGAGAHGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHRRRRGGGHHHHAAAAGGGRRGHH MY HOUSE!" Ike could be heard yelling in the distance,covered in Link's seed. He was angry. Shit was about to get real.

To be cont.

(written by jonny)


End file.
